Archive for the ‘This Interesting Life’ Category

Orville Redenbacher

Although Orville had passed away in 1995, we still enjoy his popcorn. Therefore, we give a shout out to the family and wish Orville Redenbacher a happy BIRF! He would have been 103.

Most of us grew up seeing him on many commercials. Always with a bowl of popcorn.

So grab yourself a bag and celebrate with me Orville Redenbacher and his 103rd birthday!

Who does not remember that fun movie, with Bill Murray, Andie MacDowell, Chris Elliot and Captain K’nuckles hisself, Brian Doyle-Murray?

Remember how Weatherman Phil, who kept trying to die and end the vicious cycle, at one point attempted to kill the Groundhog Phil along with himself? (Hmmm… they are both named Phil…)

Anyhoo, it did not work. Why? Was it because the Groundhog was a robot?

Well, if good ol’ PETA as their way, that might be the case!

The animal rights group wants the Groundhog Replaced With a Robot. Yes, it’s true… are you really surprised?

The People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals issued a statement, coincidinng with Groundhog’s Day, asking that Punxsutawney Phil be replaced by an animatronic groundhog for future celebrations.

Now, at first I dismissed this, as it is PETA. They have overdone it so much over the years, I think most people just laugh them off now. But perhaps this is what they wanted!

Maybe they have been building for this moment. Think about it. Replace one of the world’s most famous animals with a robot. And not just famous, a harbinger of climatic change! Controlling such an icon could be just what PETA needs to bring us to our collective knees!

Once the robot Phil (the rodent, not the weatherman… hmmm… rodents and weathermen…) Sorry! I was digressing! PETA could then hack into the system controlling the Groundhog, and make it impossible for winter to end!

After that, they would hold us all for ransom! It would be either do what PETA says, or have no summer at all! This plot was ingenious, but thankfully we here at DORKAZINE were clever enough to see through it!

Now, we just need to beat them to the punch, take control of Punxsutawney Phil, and end world winter forever!

EPIC WIN! PETA P’WNED!

The Water Closet. The can. The commode, head, john, latrine, lavatory, outhouse, potty, privy, powder room, throne. However you identify it, we pay homage today to the porcelain god.

Today is the 8th annual World Toilet day. Many organizations and countries, including the United Nations, endorse this day to the toilet.

The day was set up in 2001 to promote awareness. While you might think being aware of your commode is funny, in all reality, there is a lot of thought put into the “toilet of the future”.

I got to hear Dr. Michio Kaku a couple months back. He talked about what we might see in 50 years. While he really didn’t talk about the self-cleaning toilet, he did talk about how a toilet could determine if you might have cancer. It might be able to break down your fluids to let you know what you should eat today to balance yourself. It might even help in the aid of using the restroom….

..but that is the future. For now, give your throne a good cleaning. Throw in a new 3000 flushes. Change the magazines on top of the tank. Put in a box of Rid-X. Put the Toilet paper on the spool. For this is the toilets’ day.

Remember – if it wasn’t for advancement, we would just be using a tree…

I remember getting the Mad Magazine. I enjoyed all it had to offer from the cover of Alfred E. Neumann incorporated into the pop cover, to the fold up in back. It was and still is a great magazine.

One thing that I enjoyed more was the comics. Spy vs. Spy, Don Martin (He has a Shrine, you know), but just as important was Al Jaffee. He brought a lot of sarcasm to his strips with “Snappy Answers for Stupid Questions”. For instance, you might see someone at the computer and another ask the question:

“Are you on Dorkazine.com”

The reply would be a trifecta – like:

“No, I am on ebay buying an expensive car”

“No, my pants are on fire and I am looking online for the proceedure to ‘Stop, Drop and Roll’”

“No, I thought this was the microwave. Hopefully my Burrito is done…”

On a daily basis, Bitstrips offers a remix challenge: Write a good caption to the bitstrips comic. It was a street bum with piles of money. This inspired me to do an Al Jaffee tribute. So enjoy this Snappy answer to a stupid question.

It was on this day in 1991 a television show was first broadcast on NBC. While I am not a big fan of it, I have seen my share of episodes and it still has a major cult fan base. From Cosmo to George, Elaine to Jerry.

Jerry – “He’s talking about Seinfeld!”

George – “There is NO WAY he is talking about us!”

Jerry – “But the title suggests he is”

George – “It could be a rouse”.

Kramer – “He’s got a point Jer”

Elaine – “How can it be a rouse? George, you are stupid. Everything points to him talking about us”.

Jerry – “OK. Maybe it can be a rouse. But it SOUNDS like he’s talking about us. ”

George – “I think he’s talking about us and I don’t want to be a part of that punchline. I’M OUTTA HERE”.

pause…

Kramer – “Do you really think he’s not talking about us Jerry?”

Jerry – “Of course he’s talking about us! George is just going on one of his tirades once again. After all, why WOULDN’T he wan’t to talk about us?”

pause…

Kramer – “You got a point there, Jer”.

The first Series episode of “Seinfeld” aired on January 23rd, 1991. Now you might say “Hey! Wait a minute! Seinfeld has been around a lot longer than that!” – and you are right. Seinfeld Technically started in 1989 as “the Seinfeld Chronicles”. The series officially got a timeslot on the 23rd after NBC’s popular show “Night Court”. The show was suppose to air on January 21st, but the Persian Gulf War was to start that day, so execs decided to push the show back a couple days.

Seinfeld went 9 seasons and 180 episodes before it’s last hurrah on May 14th 1998.

So to this milestone, we say “Good job Seinfeld”.

I have only rode the subway once (not counting those shuttles at the airports). It was in Toronto. Every other time I’ve just taken a cab. I suppose it’s less expensive, but then I don’t run into anything like people without pants.

On January 10th, 2009 – Improv Everywhere coordinated the 8th annual “No Pants Subway Ride”. The idea is straightforward: Get on the subway and take off your pants. Then ride around the subway to see what the reaction is.

The site itself likes to “cause scenes of chaos and joy in public places.” They have done other coordinated events, like the No Shirts on October 17th, the Human mirror – where identical twins who wear the same clothing put themselves in places where they can mirror each other and many more events.

It looks like the next event in the chain is the Cell phone Symphony. Checked cell phones go off simultaneously. At least, reading the missions, that would be the next item – but check with their website to make sure of it.

In the meantime, My hat… er… pants are off to you! I just hope nobody went commando…